There is a book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and it has become very popular in the last several years. There is an assessment that anyone can take so that they can discover what their main love lanuage is.There is Qualtity Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
I took the assessment and I actually have two...Quality Time and Physical Touch. This works great because Brian's main language is Physical Touch but his second is Quality Time. Although that is his main language, Brian shows me he loves me in so many ways. I can't help but have a wide smile when I think about all the wonderful things he has done in the last six months.
Since Brian and I are apart, the only way we can truly keep our relationship going is through technology. We have developed a wonderful habit of talking on the phone for almost an hour every night. And every weekend, we have at least one Skype date. Our favorite thing to do has been to get frozen yogurt and then eat it together on Skype. The time that we spend talking really lets me know that he loves me and I appreciate the effort he puts into our conversations.
During the day, Brian and I text message each other and he is just so sweet sometimes. He says the nicest things and gives me wonderful compliments that make me feel so good inside! We've also written letters to each other and I save every one from him and read them every once in a while because I love to see the words that tell me he loves me.
Our relationship began in December, right before all the gift-giving holidays, and Brian has given me wonderful gifts. I appreciate them so much because I like having something tangible to remind me of him. Of course, all my fantastic shoes were gifts from him and I love all the great compliments I get when I wear them. And oh my goodness...the beautiful rings I wear constantly are reminders of him every day. <3
Brian has come to see me twice while I've been in Rexburg. It is so amazing that he is willing to take time off of work and drive several hours to be with me for a weekend. (Not to mention, he doesn't complain when he gets stuck in Wyoming on the way home.) The first time he came up, he'd been there for just a little bit, but he got up and started doing my dishes while I was doing homework! It was so sweet of him! He is always doing little things that ensure that he is a keeper. :)
Let me just tell a little story...
We drove back to Rexburg with a friend a couple weeks ago. It's a 9-10 hour drive, but it turned into an all day trip because we were stuck in the Teton mountains for a while. (Snow?? At the end of May?? Ridiculous.) So anyway we were driving and Brian willingly held my hand almost the whole way! It was so wonderful! I kept on waiting for him to say that he didn't want to hold my hand anymore but then he would reach over and want to hold my hand! It is so difficult to be so far away sometimes because when I'm struggling or need a shoulder to cry on, Brian isn't there. I know that if he was here, his amazing hugs would comfort me and calm me down. Soon, I'll get to hug him all the time, every day and I can't wait! Oh and have you noticed all the kissing pictures of us? Yeah...that's because we love each other. Get used to it. ;)
The best part of all this is I know how Brian is, and I know that he's not going to stop doing all these things to show me he loves me. This isn't just a show that he's putting on and after we're married, he's going to stop. Nope, every day he'll be doing something to show me that he loves me.
Ingird Michaelson says it all: "Don't you worry there my honey, we may not have any money, but we've got our love to pay the bills."
 |
| We're so ridiculously in love. :) |
A little mushy but I survived :) J/K I think communicating any changes to your love languages (because we do change over time) can save you months or years of frustration. Recognizing that we are constantly changing people and go through different phases of life is something to be aware of - we will change (we different dating then we are as newly weds without kids and then of course it changes again when we have kids, and again as they grow up and leave us), and as long as we take our significant other along with us as we change and communicate to them our changing needs and be aware of theirs, it can be wonderful and deeply fulfilling.
ReplyDelete